Thursday, December 6, 2012

A scary prayer

"The angel went to her and said, 'Greetings, you who are highly favored!  The Lord is with you.'" (Luke 1:28)

"'Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.'" (Luke 1:30)

I prayed a prayer this morning that quite honestly I mean with all my heart, but I'm terrified as to what it  will mean for my life.  The pastor at Southeast on Sunday spoke on Mary in Luke 1.  And while she has always been someone who interests me, I feel like it hit home more than normal this time around because of the fact that we are similar in that we are both moms.  God chose HER to be Jesus' mom.  Wow.  What an honor.  He spoke on what was it that made God choose her?  One of the things he highlighted was that she was a humble person and identified herself as a servant.

I long for God's favor on my life so much.   I want him to see me and be pleased.  I want to live a life that would make him want to choose ME to be his son's mother.  Wow.  I can't even fathom what an honor that would be.  And Mary's response was that she was his servant.  That was her identity, what she labeled herself as.

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. (Luke 1:38)

The prayer I prayed this morning scares me but excites me to see how God will answer.  I asked God to work in my life on the things that made him choose Mary.  The reasons why he chose HER over the thousands of other women, I want God to make me more like him in those areas.  The two that stick out right now are humility and servanthood, but other than that...I have no clue what those areas will be.

The thought of how this will be played out is scary, but exciting.  Over the next few months as I sense God working in my life in certain areas, I will know that those are the things that made him choose her!  It's like as God answers my prayer, he'll be letting me in on his heart...the what and why he chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus.  Oh God I long for that!!  I long for you to see my life and want ME to be apart of a story that is eternal.  I give you permission to change my heart, to mold me into a person you would CHOOSE to be your Son's "mommy".

We are about to embark on a crazy, life changing adventure out in California, where I have absolutely no clue what life will hold or look like.  Our world is about to get completely turned upside down.  I'm crazy excited, but also crazy scared.  I have a feeling that what I prayed this morning will come out through these changes.  It's been quite a journey so far, but the fun has not even started yet!  Makes me excited for the lessons that are on their way.  :)

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"  (Luke 1:45)