Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Mother's Day - sweet to my soul.

So I meant to write this post ON Mother's Day, but as always, I didn't get to it when I wanted to.  :)  What a shocker right?!?

This past Sunday was my 3rd Mother's Day and it was a great day!!  I honestly think that Mother's Day is better than my birthday.  Why??  I think because so much of my energy these days is spent on being a mom and taking care of my babies that a day to celebrate that specifically is just wonderful.  This past Sunday I woke up early and got to have some time in the Word before my kids were awake and God really spoke to me which made me very sentimental the whole day.  :)  Big surprise.  Here's what I was pondering....

5 years ago on Mother's Day I was living in Elgin, IL, was single, working at church and my deepest desire was to get married and stay home with my babies.  But it wasn't God's timing yet so I was waiting patiently.  I remember driving on Bowes Road to church that morning and as I was sitting at the stop light I saw a mama duck with her line of ducklings walking behind her.

I saw them and started crying and cried the whole way to church.  I felt slightly ridiculous knowing that I was crying because I saw a mama DUCK haha but the deeper feelings there were my longing to be married and have a family of my own to take care of.  I wanted that so bad but wasn't anywhere close to that.  I had just gotten out of a not so good relationship and was just sick of the whole dating thing.  After my morning mama duck episode, that afternoon I decided that I was going to fast that summer from guys and dating of any sorts until my birthday (Aug 26).  That summer was a foundational point in my walk with God and great things happened.  To make a long story short, it was on the very last day of my dating fast, my bday, when I went down to Bloomington to visit my sister and that was the day that Pete and I reconnected.  Coincidence?  I think not.  Thanks God for my incredible husband Pete.  I was obedient in that fast and He heard my longing to be married and answered.

Anyways...jump forward to this past Sunday and I was reflective of that Mother's Day duck incident.  I was praying Sunday morning and actually thanking God for Thirty-One.  Not because of the income or the way that it's provided for our family or the fun it brings me or anything like that (while those are all things I'm so, so thankful for!)....I was thanking God for it because of the specific reason that God knew my longing and deep desire to stay home with my kids and it is only because of Thirty-One that I am fully able to do that.  I can't even begin to explain my gratitude in knowing that God 100% brought this into my life because he knew my deeper need for fulfillment.  Wow.  I am so, so thankful.

I've been reading in Proverbs lately and being that it was May 13th I opened to Proverbs 13.  I got to verse 19 and read it and just started crying.

"A longing fulfilled is sweet to the soul"

My longing to be a wife and a mom is completely fulfilled and there is absolutely no question in my mind that THIS is what I was MADE to do!!!  Yes, there are days where I don't have much patience, I am completely exhausted, I need to get out of the house or I need my alone time, but God knew my longing to stay home and I have never before felt so fulfilled in what I am doing.  I think that is why I want more kids because my heart is just so filled to the brim and overflowing when Kellen laughs at me or gives me huge open mouthed kisses or when Keira is riding in the stroller, looks up at me and wants to hold my hand and give me a random kiss.  It's like I feel like I will explode with the love I have for those two kids.  I want as much of that as I can get!!!!  And the fact that I get to parent alongside my best friend in the whole world is just the icing on the cake!  Pete is the most amazing dad and I am so, so, so, so blessed to be married to him.  I am more in love with that man every single day of my life and it just gets deeper as I see him tickle Keira till she's laughing uncontrollably or "throw" Kellen to make him giggle and smile. He truly is an amazing father.  Our kids are so lucky to have him!

So with that all said, this past Sunday morning God just reminded me that he is the fulfiller of all our longings.  He knows my deepest thoughts and desires and wants to honor them in my life.  

On a side note, when I was driving to church that morning with the two kids in the back, I was secretly looking out for a mama duck and her babies thinking maybe God was going to let me see another duck family just to know he heard me that morning.  No such luck....but later that day we all took a walk down by the river downtown and guess what I saw.  Yup.  A family of ducks.  I just laughed at God's sense of humor and it was on that walk that Keira just looks up at me, reaches her hand out and offers me a kiss.  Thank you God for my little family.  I am blessed beyond all measures!