It's a......!

GIRL!!!!

Sooooooo excited to have yet another sweet little baby girl in our family!  If you asked me what I wanted this time around I would have said girl so when the doctor said "You're having a girl!" I couldn't have been more thrilled!  As I thought more about this yesterday it made me even more excited to have another daughter.  One thing my mom said when I was pregnant with Keira and is something I hadn't really thought of is that daughters hang onto their relationship with their mom for life.  Yes, that's there with your son's as well, but they grow up and have their own families and it's just different and not as close (not always, but typical).  While I hope to always be super involved with Kellen's life and have a close relationship with him, I know it will be different with my two girls.  I'll get to do the wedding thing twice, and the prom thing twice, and then help them take care of them when they have THEIR babies!  This just thrills me knowing that I get to get all Keira's old baby clothes and use them again!!!!! (well, the ones she didn't puke all over and ruin with her insane amount of spit up)

So excited to see more of what our family will look like.  I have two girls and a boy!  I couldn't be more thrilled!!  Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!

The specifics

So it's 4:30 am and I'm up yet again with pregnancy insomnia.  Yes! I'm pregnant again.  SOOOOO excited!  :)  I'm 10 weeks and have my first sonogram tomorrow which I am so, so, so anticipating.  As I was just laying in bed (attempting to get back to sleep), I was thinking about how sweet this pregnancy is.  With Keira everything was brand new.  I had no clue what parenting would be like, what being a mom would be like, what having a baby would be like...nothing.  I knew nothing of the other side of the womb.  With Kellen it was even better because I had gotten a glimpse of how much I loved Keira and how much I loved being a mom.  Knowing that more of that was coming (with a boy now!) was so exciting!  Now with this one, it's different.  Keira is 3, Kellen is 19 months...I'm in the full trenches of parenting and I am completely and utterly smitten by my two babies.  I was made to be a mom and knowing that more of that is coming just makes it all the more precious to me.  I think that's why I am so excited to see our baby tomorrow (today) morning because it is the first time I will lay eyes on a person that I will love with my life.  The first time I will see the little body that I will kiss and hug and tickle and play with and once again, be completely and utterly smitten with!  The anticipation of who this next baby will be (boy or girl?) is so huge this time around and I absolutely love it!!!  My cup is filled and overflowing with love for my THREE babies and I get to "meet" the 3rd one for the first time tomorrow morning.  AY so exciting!!  :)

There are so many things I've been meaning to write down lately so as I was laying there in bed having already been awake for an hour and a half and no sight of sleep anytime soon, I figured I might as well get up and unleash my thoughts.  I've been wanting to write down the little things that I love about Keira and Kellen and the little specific things they do that make me smile.  I don't want to forget these things which is why I want to write them down.  So for my memory's sake and for when I read back on this years from now and miss these moments....

Keira...
* I love how every night before bed the last thing you say to us is "Where should we go now?"
* I love how you take the absolute biggest bites (despite my telling you not to) of food sometimes and stuff as much as you can in your mouth! haha
* I love how you can recite your verses and know them so well
* I love how after your nap you just want to sit on my lap and hug me for a long time
* I love how you are so content to play in your room during your "nap" time
* I love how you hate wearing a pony tail but want to wear "clippys" all the time
* I love your "on purpose" smile
* I love that you love "my eesy" (cousin Elyse) and "baby Shepherd"
* I love that you make sure to thank God for our food after every time we pray
* I love how you sing Jesus Loves Me and Behold Behold and The BIBLE and your ABC's
* I love how you have to take your Baby Ladybug every. where. we. go.  :)
* I love how you strap her in the back seat of the van with her blankie
* I love how you take care of your babies and carry them around in the carseat and wrap them in their blankets
* I love how at bedtime you have to have Minnie on your right side, Baby Cora on your right and Baby Ladybug in her pack n' play next to your bed, both your fans on, your nightlight and your "maker" (noisemaker) on
* I love when you sing to your babies to put them to sleep and tell me to be quiet
* I love how you lay in the tub and just relax...your face above the water and you just lay there :)
* I love how you love your "peanut butter tortillas" at lunchtime
* I love how you love to have dance parties in the family room to Pandora and clear off the entire carpet to clear your dance space
* I love how you ask for a "wash-a-col" after meals to wash your hands with
* I (love) how you will not eat meat?! (not really)
* I absolutely love when you tell me that you just want to snuggle with mommy on the couch!!
* How when I say "I love you Keira", you respond in the sweetest way possible, "I love you too Mommy."
* I love how when I ask you if you had any dreams when you were sleeping, every single time you say "Eesy was a monkey."

Kellen...
* I love how when you make a "funny face" it's basically a big cheesy grin
* I love how you snuggle on mama's shoulder before bedtime and have to have all 3 of your woof woof's and your blankie snuggled with you
* I love how you chase after your sister laughing with delight
* I love you how put yourself in time out then 2 seconds later laugh historically (not funny when you really are being punished!) :)
* I love how you love your woofies and squeal in delight when you see a doggie in a book or in person
* I love how you love to read your books
* I love how when we pray you thank God for "dada, mama, "iss" (sissy), and baby"
* I love how you march, march, march
* I love how you love to dance...aka spin for you...with your sister
* I love how you love your mama
* I love how when you sit or every time when you eat you cross your feet
* I love how you get so excited when dada comes home
* I love how you've just learned what it is to "boomp" (fart :)) and try to push it out, then laugh histarically!  Typical boy!!
* I love how you get SO excited when Daddy gets home from work!

The California Life!

Oh life is good!  We have made it HOME!  Yes, San Diego (well Lakeside), CA is HOME now and my heart is finally at peace and at rest.  I have my "nest" back and I can't tell you how good it feels to finally be here.  While it was great and wonderful spending time with my parents and Pete's parents, having our little family back to normal and making my own dinners and spending the days with my kids at the park and doing laundry and the normal day in and day out stuff has never been so welcomed!  We are home!  Can I say it again haha!  We are home!!

California is beyond beautiful and I am just loving it so far.  The weather (as everyone always says) is just gorgeous.  Christy was out here this past week and it was just perfect every single day.  This will never get old and it just does something to my spirit when I walk outside and it's perfectly sunny and 70 degrees.  I'm convinced I was made for California weather!  :)  Not to mention the beauty of the mountains that are everywhere!  Absolutely gorgeous!!  There have been times I'm just driving and have to snap myself back into driving mode because I'm just in awe of the scenery.  Seriously.  So beautiful.  How did I get lucky enough to live here?  Wow.  Love it!

The kiddies are adjusting very well and just love having their cousins so close.  Keira and Elyse are just too cute together and play so well which we are so thankful for.  Kellen is all over the place and already is that little brother who follows the girls around wanting so bad to keep up with them!  Shep just has to start walking so Kellen has a little buddy to hang out with.  God definitely knew what he was doing with our kids giving them each a playmate!  So thankful for that!!

Lately I have just found so much joy in my kids.  I don't know if it's just being their "mommy" again (rather than the daughter role at my parents) or if they are just at an age that is bringing about a new stage or what it is, but daily, I just laugh at them and my heart just wells up and I am so filled with love for them.  Keira has just the sweetest spirit in her.  She just absolutely loves her babies and taking care of them and she feeds them and changes their "big stinky poopy diapers" and rocks them and sings Jesus Loves Me to them all the time.  It is so, so sweet.  She is so polite (most of the time) and does a great job at remembering to say please and thank you.  She's fairly obedient and it doesn't take much to look into her eyes and tell her when she's made a bad choice and to see her heart through her eyes as she says she's sorry.  She has such a soft and tender heart and I'm just so drawn to it!  We've been working on our verses and she's got about 4 down pretty well.  I love hearing her say Scripture and watching her learn what it means.  When she does get disciplined we always reference back to one of her verses which has been cool to see her start to make the connections of what it means.  My prayer for her since day 1 (literally since she was in the womb) has been that she would have a kind and gentle heart and I just so see God answering that prayer.  I pray that she would have a sweet spirit and a love for people.  That she would be that girl at school that everyone just loves because she always has kind words to say and reaches out to those who may not feel loved.  I can't believe that she will be 3 in 1 month (from today!).  The past 3 years have gone so fast and I am just so blessed with this sweet girl!!

Kellen James is just a mama's boy to the core.  That little guy could melt me to the floor with his lovies and kisses and his giggles.  It's amazing to see the differences in not just the boy/girl thing, but just in his personality and his spirit.  He is definitely all boy which is so fun to watch.  He grunts and vrooms his cars around the floor.  He climbs on EVERYTHING and has no fear!  If it's elevated, he wants on top of it.  I have to watch him constantly!  He loves playing catch and when we run to get him and tickle him.  He is definitely much more clingy than Keira ever was which has sometimes been hard.  They have to call me out of church frequently to come get him because he's crying.  :(  That separation anxiety has kicked in and he loves his mama!  I love having a mama's boy, but there are times when I just want to make dinner without having to hold a 15 month boy as well.  :)  It's exhausting at times, but I'm okay with it.  I know it's just a stage so I will take it and enjoy it because that is where he's at right now.  He won't always want me to hold him all the time.  :)  I soak every minute up with him that I can get!  My prayer for my boy since day 1 has been that he will grow to be a man full of wisdom and integrity, courage and boldness.  That my little guy would have the strength to obey God rather than man and that he would lead and lead well.  That people would long to follow him because of his character.  That they would be drawn to him because he makes right choices.  I pray that he would have a love for God's Word and Spirit and a love for people.  Oh how I want great things for my boy!

We're starting to think #3 pretty soon here which is exciting and crazy all at the same time.  I've been ready for awhile now and we just had to get moved and settled before we even entertained that idea.  Now we're here and the thought is very prevalent on my mind!  :)  Three kids.  Wow.  I was telling a friend yesterday that that's like a family haha.  1 kid is just getting started...you're new at the parenting thing.  2 kids is getting there.  Then 3 is a family haha!  Most people have 3 and are done.  Which in our case, I can't even imagine being done after this next one.  I've had my heart set on 4 kids from the beginning so I'm halfway there.  :)  I think just the thought of knowing and loving another baby is so exciting for me!  Not knowing who they are right now, but knowing that there are 2 more family members for our family is so fun to think about!  I'm so anxious to see them and know them and love them and be their mommy!!  I could just keep going haha...knowing that we can keep making more!  :)

Anyways...that's an update on life lately.  I like writing updates every so often so I can go back and read them.  More for myself than anything else.  :)  An online journal without all the personal stuff that goes in my real journal.  :)

A scary prayer

"The angel went to her and said, 'Greetings, you who are highly favored!  The Lord is with you.'" (Luke 1:28)

"'Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.'" (Luke 1:30)

I prayed a prayer this morning that quite honestly I mean with all my heart, but I'm terrified as to what it  will mean for my life.  The pastor at Southeast on Sunday spoke on Mary in Luke 1.  And while she has always been someone who interests me, I feel like it hit home more than normal this time around because of the fact that we are similar in that we are both moms.  God chose HER to be Jesus' mom.  Wow.  What an honor.  He spoke on what was it that made God choose her?  One of the things he highlighted was that she was a humble person and identified herself as a servant.

I long for God's favor on my life so much.   I want him to see me and be pleased.  I want to live a life that would make him want to choose ME to be his son's mother.  Wow.  I can't even fathom what an honor that would be.  And Mary's response was that she was his servant.  That was her identity, what she labeled herself as.

"I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. (Luke 1:38)

The prayer I prayed this morning scares me but excites me to see how God will answer.  I asked God to work in my life on the things that made him choose Mary.  The reasons why he chose HER over the thousands of other women, I want God to make me more like him in those areas.  The two that stick out right now are humility and servanthood, but other than that...I have no clue what those areas will be.

The thought of how this will be played out is scary, but exciting.  Over the next few months as I sense God working in my life in certain areas, I will know that those are the things that made him choose her!  It's like as God answers my prayer, he'll be letting me in on his heart...the what and why he chose Mary to be the mother of Jesus.  Oh God I long for that!!  I long for you to see my life and want ME to be apart of a story that is eternal.  I give you permission to change my heart, to mold me into a person you would CHOOSE to be your Son's "mommy".

We are about to embark on a crazy, life changing adventure out in California, where I have absolutely no clue what life will hold or look like.  Our world is about to get completely turned upside down.  I'm crazy excited, but also crazy scared.  I have a feeling that what I prayed this morning will come out through these changes.  It's been quite a journey so far, but the fun has not even started yet!  Makes me excited for the lessons that are on their way.  :)

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"  (Luke 1:45)

11 months

So this time 11 months ago exactly I was snuggling my newborn baby boy and completely in awe of the great blessing God had just blessed our family with!  Life was fully ahead of him and so much to come for this little boy.  Kellen James you are a JOY and a BLESSING and my prayer for you is that you would grow in wisdom and have courage and boldness to lead others to the saving knowledge of Christ.  May you be an ambassador of Christ who proclaims his name to many!!

I can't imagine life without this little guy!!

summer lovin

And so our journey continues.  It's been about a month here in Kentucky and we are feeling settled and into our routine.  Thankfully my parents have a great set up where we have the entire upstairs (3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and a living area).  We have our own space and it's been great.  I love having my mom and dad around all the time and it's been awhile since we've spent this much time together!  With that said....I'm also itching to get out to California.  My sister flew out with Elyse a week ago and has been telling us how the whole moving process is going.  It's hard, but they are getting there, and will be settled very soon.

I've always known this but it's just being reiterated right now...I love change, but hate transition.  I like knowing that things are where they are going to be and I can invest in where I'm at.  Right now I feel like we're just "floating" here in KY so it's hard for me to put effort into doing things well, because I know that we'll be leaving soon.  I can't let myself think that way because I don't want to waste this time.  I have these thoughts in my head that this time is in a sense wasted time not being established....but I can't and don't want to think that way.  I want to take advantage of this time and use it to the greatest ability.  Pete has been gone for almost 2 weeks (which has absolutely SUCKED!) but a good thing is that I've been able to spend almost every night working on things in my business that I haven't had time for before.  I've gotten more organized and followed up with a ton of people and done things that I don't think I would have done had he been home.

The kids have been great.  I just had Kellen's 9 month check up today and he's in the 21st percentile for weight and the 2nd percentile for height!!  GAhhhh!  haha.  Keira on the other hand is in the 92nd for weight and the 96th for height!!!  Keira is going to tower over Kellen!!!  We'll see how it turns out but it's just funny to think about.  I love those little kids with every ounce of my being!!

Kellen turned 9 months old yesterday and is just a little HAM!  He is the sweetest thing ever.  If he's watching you and you give him a smile or say something to him, he'll smile a big huge smile back and then tilt his head to the side in like a little bashful way.  It is the sweetest thing ever!  The best is when he does it and just cuddles into me.  Melts my heart to the ground!!  He is a ridiculously picky eater which is frustrating but yet kinda funny (I'm sure won't be funny once he's older....takes after his daddy!).  He WILL not eat something if he doesn't like it.  Mouth closed and face turned away.  I've discovered he likes pasta so if I can get a noodle in his mouth I can cover it with the good stuff (broccoli, cauliflower, squash, etc.) and he'll eat it....but give it to him plain, it's a no go.  I have to get creative because Keira has always been a good eater.  I absolutely love, love, love having a little boy and he has completely stolen my heart and better be a mama's boy till the day he dies.  He's got his daddy's head, forehead, hairline, ears and lips and then my eyes and nose.  Just thinking about him makes my heart warm.  We're blessed with an amazing little guy!  My prayer for him is he would grow to be a leader who leads people to Jesus with wisdom, boldness and courage.

Keira is on her way to 2 1/2 and is definitely in the "2's" phase.  I am so head over heals for that girl.  When she looks at me and just grins or says "Jesus book" "Jesus book" "Jesus book" or dances around the room or gives Kellen kisses and hugs or sings a song in her carseat....I am so smitten for my little girl!!  It is so much fun now that she's talking more and has her own personality.  She loves her daddy and is most definitely a "daddy's girl".  She loves to dance, take walks, go to the park, go down the slides, read books, kiss and hug "bubba boy" (as she calls Kellen!)....she's a busy bee but just so. much. fun.  I seriously don't want her to grow up and just stay this innocent and sweet forever!

Our next adventure

Wow so a lot has been in the works over the last few months and it's exciting to finally get to share our next adventure.  God has been preparing the path for awhile now but we're excited to begin to walk on it beginning August 5th.  Here's the story:


Back in 2003, Pete felt God tell him that one day him and my brother in law Brandon would someday work together planting a church (they went to college together and were good friends even before they married sisters).  He had no clue when or where that would happen but felt like it was something that God had placed in his heart.  His dream.  His life ministry desire.  His calling.  When we were engaged and in the early days of our marriage we talked about it and what it would look like.  But at that point it was something in the future.  Brandon and Jamie (my sister) were in full time ministry in Bloomington, IL and Pete and I were in full time ministry here in Wichita.  We felt no leading to leave until God made it very clear that the time was right.


Brandon and Jamie had been talking about moving to Louisville, KY to start ministry at the church where my parents are at - Southeast Christian Church.  Brandon was in the middle of the interview process and it was definitely moving forward.  They had planned a trip out to San Diego to visit some friends and see what potential was out there.  When they arrived back home we heard the unexpected - they loved it.  I remember telling Jamie before they went out there that I couldn't see them moving all the way out there and how far away it was from family and everything we've always known.


After a couple more trips back to San Diego, it was confirmed.  God had called Brandon, Jamie, Elyse and their new baby to San Diego to plant a church.  Holy smokes.  Not only was this news crazy for our family knowing that they would be so far away from us, but even bigger thoughts started pouring into the conversations for Pete and I.  Is this it? Do we want to be apart of this?  Are we willing to uproot everything and move to the MOST expensive city in the US?  Do we want to be that far away from our family?  And most importantly, is this what God has for OUR family as well?  The wheels started spinning and we started praying immensely about what this decision would mean for us.  It was scary to think about it and what it would look like...but at the same time....beyond thrilling!


It was confirmed for us as well and we committed to help be apart of the launch of this new church.  Pete knew as soon as Brandon and Jamie said that's what they were doing that this was the fulfillment of what he heard God say to him years ago.  He knew that we would be moving to San Diego to plant a church but we still wanted to make sure that the time was right and it was a wise decision for our family.  Now to work out the details.


The church isn't set to launch until September of 2013 so we knew that we still had a good year left in Wichita before making the move.  That was okay at that point because I needed some time to adjust to the idea and the reality of what life would look like living in a box on the beach.  :)  As we started to talk through things Pete's schooling was one of the issues that we were trying to figure out.  He's about half way through his masters degree that he is going to Asbury Theological Seminary in KY.  Having to fly back for classes just didn't seem like a good idea and like it would be very expensive and leave me alone with the kids for some time.  As we were talking through the details, we decided that we were going to leave Wichita in January 2013 and move in with my parents for 5 months so Pete could go full time to school and get it out of the way.  Then we'd plan to move out to San Diego in May or June of 2013 and get settled before the launch of the church.


About a month or so ago, Pete was talking with his brother Ben and Ben was saying that we should seriously consider putting our house on the market now instead of in January because it just might not sell.  We could get a 6 month lease and then we'd at least not have the stress of trying to sell our house. If it hadn't sold by May we would be stuck and not be able to go out to San Diego.  We decided this was a good idea and met with 2 realtors.  After the 2nd one left, I had a break down and just the stress of showing our house with the 2 kids, the fact that we would barely make any money and the idea of moving 3 times was just exhausting to me.  On top of the fact that July is a very busy month for me with Thirty-One and I just didn't want to have to deal with all the packing and such.  I told Pete that we just needed to trust the Lord to sell our house in January and put it on the market after we leave.  That's what we decided to do.  Oh and we started praying we would sell it without a realtor as well so we'd at least have some money to walk away with.


Two weeks ago Pete came home from lunch and told me about this couple who he is marrying in September about how they were looking for a house.  He asked me if I thought he should say something to them.  I said go for it!  After a number of conversations and details worked out...they are buying our house...without a realtor!  Seriously, when that happened it was the biggest answer to prayer and burden lifted.  We couldn't believe it.  We drive in and out of our neighborhood every day and see these houses that have been for sale for months and here ours sold without a realtor in 1 day!  Talk about a God thing!!!!!  They needed to be in August 1 so we started looking for apartments.


After that was finalized, it only took a day for us to ask "Why are we waiting?"  We decided to see if Pete's classes would work out the same in the fall as in the spring semester and sure enough...they did.  Of course.  So after talking with my parents to see if surprise....we could move in with them in a MONTH rather than in January (haha) Pete told our Pastor and quit his job...AHH!


This is really happening!  So here we are, mid July and we're all of a sudden leaving Wichita much, much sooner than we anticipated!  It's crazy!!


The picture that I've had in my head for the last 6 months is that there have been so many puzzle pieces for this new adventure and they have been floating above our heads.  We knew they were there and had some place to fit in, but we just couldn't see how it was all going to come together in the end.  And then once our house sold and Pete's classes worked out and everything fell into place, I just feel like God took all the puzzle pieces and placed them in the right spot and laid out the complete puzzle in front of us.


There is NO DOUBT in my mind that this whole thing is a God thing.  Over the last many months I have been studying Exodus and just time and time (and time and time and time) again God has confirmed that this is the direction he has for our family.  As I've been processing and working through all the details for our move, God just last Thursday as I read the last chapter in Exodus gave me this verse: (40:36-38)


"In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; ³⁷ but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out—until the day it lifted. ³⁸ So the cloud of the Lord was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the Israelites during all their travels."


I truly believe that God has lifted his cloud in our lives and is moving it to San Diego.  If we were to stay here, we wouldn't be in God's will any longer.  So there is nothing that we can do other than to follow it.  And just like he promises at the end of that verse, that God will be with us throughout all our travels.  Yes, the process is tedious and very detailed with moving and storing stuff and buying houses and living with my parents and classes and travel with 2 kids....but as Exodus 3:12 and then again in 33:14 God tells Moses "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."  God's presence is with us throughout this process and we are excited to see His provision in the details.


So there it is.  We're moving to San Diego.  Crazy.  Never in a million years thought that's where I'd "land" but quite honestly, it's not too shabby of a place to call home.  :)  (top 10 cities in the US to raise a family!)  The announcement was made at church this morning so the news is officially out.  Pray with us as the next few months are those of transition and uprooting and replanting in a brand new city.  We're excited to follow the cloud of God's Presence and praying for His presence to already begin to work in those of the lives that need Jesus there.